Why We Track Everything… Except Our Friendships

Mahika Hari
6 days ago
4 min read

And how that realization led me to build Centr

We track our steps, calories, sleep, screen time, budgets, and stress levels. But when it comes to friendships, the thing most strongly tied to our happiness and long-term health, most of us rely on… memory. Gut feeling. Vibes.

And because life gets busy, friendships slip through the cracks. This is not because we don’t care, but it's because we don’t have systems that support us. This nagged at me for years. And eventually, it became the reason I started building Centr.

This post explores why friendships often go untracked, the challenges of managing adult friendships, and how a new approach, including the creation of the social wellness app, Centr, aims to change that.

The Quiet Truth: Friendships Fade Silently

Step counts show a number. Sleep apps give you a score.Your notes app holds a running list of meals, workouts, or grocery items.

But friendships? Friendships rarely come with metrics or reminders.

And so they fade quietly. Slowly. Accidentally.

We miss a birthday. We take too long to reply. We tell someone “We should hang out soon!” and genuinely mean it… but never follow through. We wait until things “slow down,” even though things never do.

If you’ve ever realized months passed without seeing someone you love, you’re not alone.

Why We Don’t Track Friendships (Even Though We Should)

Behavioral science gives a few reasons why friendship falls to the bottom of the “tracking” list:

Friendships feel less tangible than physical health or work tasks. You can count steps, but you can’t quantify time with a loved one or a conversation that made you feel understood.
Adult friendships require effort over proximity to maintain. As kids, friends were built-in: school, sports teams, neighborhoods, routines. As adults, friendships compete with work, errands, partners, burnout, and the sheer effort of keeping yourself alive.
Social norms don’t encourage tracking friendships. We track money and macros without shame. But track your friendships? Suddenly it feels robotic or clingy—even though it’s really just caring… with structure.
Cognitive load is real. We simply can’t hold every birthday, every life update, every “follow up later,” every “text them when you’re back in town,” every promise to “catch up soon” in our heads.

Humans need systems. And right now, we don’t have one.

The Challenge of Adult Friendships (And the Shame Spiral That Follows)

Some real frustrations I’ve heard from friends—and lived myself:

“I remember everything for work, but I can’t remember to text my friends back.”
“I always have the intention to reach out… and then weeks pass.”
“It feels embarrassing to tell someone I forgot.”
“I want to be a better friend, I just don’t have the capacity to track it all.”
“Making new friends as an adult feels like trying to date without the apps.”

You’re not flaky.

You’re not bad at friendship.

Your brain is simply overwhelmed.

Friendship shouldn’t rely on who happens to remember things first.

But, there was no app for that. No tool designed for the emotional, nonlinear, messy, beautiful work of maintaining real relationships.

So… I built one.

Why I Built Centr

Centr started as a private tool I wished existed. Something to help me:

keep promises to my friendships
be intentional about my energy
show up for my people the way I wanted to
stop relying on mental notes I kept forgetting

And then I realized: I wasn’t alone. Everyone I talked to—friends, coworkers, strangers—felt the same things: overwhelm, guilt, loneliness, the desire for deeper connection, but no tools to support it.

Centr grew from that collective wish:

What if there were an app that helped you maintain and grow friendships—without pressure, without guilt, without overwhelm?
What if your social life could feel organized and supported… the way your fitness or finances already do?

Friendship isn’t something to “manage. ”It’s something to honor.

Centr helps you do that.

How Centr Supports Your Friendships

Centr isn’t social media. It’s not a calendar. It’s not a messaging app.

It’s a personal tool—a way to understand your own needs. Friendship takes participation. Not perfection. Not daily communication. Just presence and intention—at your own pace.

Centr is here to make that easier.

With Centr, you can:

Set gentle check-in reminders
Track the friendships that matter most
Log shared moments or things you don’t want to forget
Organize your people (inner circle, outer circle, acquaintances, etc.)
Reflect on your social energy and boundaries
Make space for friendships that nurture you
Finally stop saying “We should hang out” with no follow-through

Centr helps you center yourself in your social life—so you can be a more present friend without burning out.

The Future of Friendship

You don’t have to track everything. You don’t need a spreadsheet. You don’t need to remember every birthday or update or inside joke.

You just need a little support.

Centr was built from that need—mine, and maybe yours, too.

This is the beginning of a new way to care for our friendships. Not perfectly, but intentionally.